Modeling Language for Gestalt Language Processors: Why Questions Can Wait and Phrases Matter

If you have a child who is a gestalt language processor (GLP), you’ve probably been learning a lot about how to support their unique language development. Unlike analytic language processors who learn language word-by-word, GLPs acquire language in chunks: phrases or full sentences that carry meaning as a whole.

As caregivers and professionals, one of the most powerful ways we can support GLPs is by modeling language in a way that aligns with how they learn. This means shifting how we speak, especially in spontaneous, everyday interactions. There are two key strategies I want to highlight that can make a huge impact: reducing questions and tuning in to the intent behind your child’s communication.

1. Reduce Your Questions... A LOT

I know, it’s hard. We’re used to asking our kids questions constantly. “Are you okay?” “What’s that?” “Do you want this?” But for gestalt language processors, questions can be tricky. If they had the language to answer the question, they probably would. So instead of questions, try using declarative language, statements that describe what’s happening or what you are noticing or doing.

Here are a few examples:

• Instead of: “Are you okay?”

  • Try: “Ow! Head hurts!”

• Instead of: “What is that?”

  • Try: “Wow, look at the firetruck!”

By switching to statements, we’re offering useful language models that your child can eventually echo and adapt. Think of yourself as a narrator or storyteller of the moment rather than a quizmaster.

If you catch yourself asking questions often, that’s okay! You don’t need to eliminate all of them, just aim to become more aware and consider whether a statement might be more supportive.

2. Model Based on Intent, Not Just Behavior

Another important shift we can make is moving from a one-size-fits-all phrase approach to modeling language that matches the intent behind your child’s communication. This can be a little more nuanced but it’s worth it.

Let’s say your child pushes, pulls, or hits to communicate. Instead of jumping to a generic phrase and using that phrase each time they hit or even telling them “no” pause and ask yourself: What are they trying to say with this action?

From my experience in therapy sessions, here are some common possibilities:

• Requesting deep pressure (squeezes)

• Trying to get you to move with them

• Asking you to get out of their way

• Taking you to something they want

• Getting frustrated because they didn’t get what they wanted quickly enough

• Letting you know something belongs to them (like “that’s my seat!”)

Before we go further, I want to make something really clear: We are not encouraging hitting, pushing, or any physical behavior that could hurt someone. But for many nonspeaking children or kids who are just beginning to find their voice these actions are often not meant to be aggressive. They’re simply doing the best they can to communicate in that moment.

Spending a lot of time correcting or reprimanding with “No hitting!” especially without giving them a meaningful way to express themselves may actually do the opposite of what we want. Instead of teaching them how to communicate, we may be unintentionally teaching them not to communicate at all, especially if every attempt results in getting in trouble. Most of the time, these behaviors are rooted in frustration, confusion, or unmet needs not meanness.

When we look at the reason behind the behavior and offer language that reflects that reason, we’re helping them build a toolbox of phrases that actually work to get their needs met without relying on physical gestures.

Here are a few real-world examples:

• Scenario 1: Your child pushes someone who’s in their walking path.
  ➝ Try modeling: “Excuse me!” or “Move, please!”

• Scenario 2: They push you out of a chair that they usually sit in.
  ➝ Try modeling: “Hey, that’s my seat!”

• Scenario 3: They hit or shove because they’re frustrated you didn’t do the thing they were trying to tell you.
  ➝ Try modeling: “No, not that!” or “That’s not it!”

Again, it may take some trial and error. You won’t always know exactly what your child is trying to say, but doing your best to guess their intent and offering a natural phrase will go a long way. Over time, these phrases can become gestalts your child begins to use on their own and they’ll be rooted in real communication, not artificial teaching.

Final Thoughts

Using a gestalt language approach means we don’t “teach” language in the traditional sense. We model it in natural, meaningful contexts. Yes, it takes practice and patience. And no, it won’t happen overnight. But if we stay attuned to our child’s intent and consistently model phrases that reflect their experiences, we open the door to rich, flexible, and authentic communication.

So this week, try this:

• Reduce your questions and replace them with statements.

• When your child uses their body to communicate, pause and think: What might they be trying to tell me? Then model a phrase that reflects that meaning.

You’ve got this. And remember every phrase you model is another building block in your child’s language journey.